Review: Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me, by Chelsea Handler

Anyone who has read Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang or Are You There, Vodka... may be wondering what else there could possibly be to learn about this author/tv personality / potential alcoholic. Personally, I myself have felt on more than one occasion that I may know more about her vagina than I do about my own. Regardless, there is yet more to learn about the gregarious Ms. Handler: it seems that she is a compulsive liar who enjoys nothing more than mercilessly playing practical jokes on everyone she meets.

Chelsea's friends and family are more than happy to spill the beans on her craziness, in much the same way that all the characters from Seinfeld gathered on the last episode of the series to testify about the atrocities they dealt with at the hands of that show's main characters, in the new Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me. The difference here is, all of the acts detailed in these pages, though just as outrageous, are true! Each chapter in the story is written by a different person, and details an event even more horrifying than the last. Ever had someone hijack your email and send notices to your entire family (as if they were you) confessing to them that you're only getting married because you're actually pregnant, or tell your boss that you're gay and looking for love? Do your friends convince your spouse to trick you into thinking he/she has become a compulsive gambler and owes a bookie $10k, and then get the bookie to go along with it? If you're a friend of Chelsea Handler, you may have experienced something like this, or worse. The more I read, the more appalled, and yet the more fascinated, I became. I was enthralled by the creativity involved in all of these stunts, and even more by Handler's ability to pull them off, time and time again, on people who are already on the lookout for this kind of behavior from her! She has to be some kind of evil genius.

One thing that becomes clear as you read the book is that, despite all of this insanity, every person who wrote a chapter adores Chelsea. While at first I wasn't clear *why*, since if one of my friends did these things to me, I might lose my mind, but after a few chapters, a trend began to emerge. Even as Handler is mucking around with the lives of everyone around her, she is also constantly inviting them into her home to stay for any amount of time, taking them with her on whirlwind adventures around the world, encouraging their own personal and professional success, and having a fabulous time doing it. At the end of each chapter, she adds her own brief comments about the authors' stories, and it is obvious that she cares about them as much as they do about her. The book is peppered with photos of a smiling Handler with her arms around whomever wrote the current chapter, on boats, tropical beaches, and poolsides, usually with drinks in hand.

The collection of personal testimonies from Handler's various victims rings true to those of us who have seen 'After Lately', Handler's new show about being behind the scenes of her infamous talk show. Working for the childlike Handler must be a challenge, because with a friend like her, you definitely wouldn't need any enemies! However, if you had any, she would probably ruin their immediate futures with a few well-places lies, and film the whole ensuing mess to watch with a bag of popcorn. That's kind of a nice, if messed-up, trait to have in a friend. I think.

Rating: four stars out of five. A fun, refreshing read about craziness you're glad is happening to someone else!

Review: Sh*t My Dad Says, by Justin Halpern

OK, so bear with me. I know this came out quite awhile ago, and I'm behind the curve. If you are familiar with this blog at all, you know I just finished grad school, meaning I have been stressed out of my mind lately. I was looking for something to help me relax and ease back into real life, saw Halpern's book, and thought I'd give it a try. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting much. I didn't see the TV show based on this book, and I had thought it sounded a little stupid at the time. All I really knew was that it's based on the author's Twitter feed of the same name. While I still don't know how anyone thought this would translate into a weekly sitcom, I have to tell you, Sh*t My Dad Says - the book version - is actually really, really funny.

The book itself is more grouped by general topic rather than set into regular chapters, although it is organized into loose chapters as well. Each chapter begins with a longer story, such as the one that opens the book that details a family car trip to a wedding 1800 miles away, and then follows the story with several shorter anecdotes that have their own headings. These shorter bits don't seem to me to have any particular rhyme or reason as to why they are placed where they are, but it doesn't really matter because they are all stand-alone items anyway.

In truth, most of what Halpern's dad says is funny because he's extremely blunt, outspoken, and obscene. If his sentences were sandwiches, curses would be the bread, meat, and cheese. Somehow, though, it's not offensive. I'm not against swearing, heaven knows, but neither do I like it just for the sake of itself, and I don't find movies or songs that use that as a strategy appealing (for instance, the uncut version of Hollaback Girl - seriously, Gwen Stefani?). This doesn't venture into that realm. It kind of makes me think of what the dad from The Wonder Years, crossed with the dad from A Christmas Story, would have said if the censors allowed it. Halpern is careful to mitigate his dad's roughness with an obvious love and respect, and makes sure the reader understands the bond the two have; without this the stories might be a bit hard to swallow at times. The key here is that we are always aware that we are laughing *with* Halpern and his father, and not *at* them. I actually laughed out loud several times.

I do have some questions about the truthfulness of the book, such as how the author recreated all of these stories word for word, especially those from his childhood. Even if he asked other people in his life to help him, it seems unlikely to me that at least some of this stuff isn't embellished. That being said, I'm not sure it really matters all that much. Would I be disappointed to find out that this was yet another made-up life story? Sure, but it's not like this book will be up for some kind of major award, or selected for a book club based on the merits of some major cultural contribution. SMDS is just a short, lighthearted read for adults who want to take a break from the mean-spiritedness that often passes as comedy and enjoy a laugh with the author and his father. In fact, as long as your dad doesn't mind near-constant swearing, it would make a good Father's Day gift.

Rating: four stars out of five. A short, very funny read with none of the mean-spiritedness so common in today's tell-all culture.

I'm Done!

Hey! Me and my newly-minted master's degree are here! I got a Nook Color (from Barnes and Noble) for graduation from my husband, and I've been busy loading it up. The best thing about it is that it's compatible with library loan systems, whereas the Kindle is not. Also, hello, it's in color, so I can get all my magazines sent to it and not miss a thing. I cannot overestimate how much I love it! Three of us in the family have one now (I bought one for my husband for Xmas, and my daughter, who had been collecting gift cards from holidays and birthdays for a long time, finally got enough to buy herself one last weekend as well). Nook also allows you to share books via 'Loan' with other Nook owners, but I believe that this is restricted to non-new titles.

Anyway, my first review in about a year will be up shortly. The first few on my list are light reads, because frankly, after the year I've had, I need to unwind a little! If any of you have any recommendations for me, post here and let me know; I'm always open to suggestions.