A Note on Abraham Lincoln, the film

I never do this, but I wanted to post a short comment here on the new adaptation of Seth Grahame-Smith's Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter.  I reviewed this book shortly after it came out; the book is GREAT.  It does a wonderful job putting history into a fun context; if you remove the vampire parts, you can actually LEARN about Lincoln, and the civil war, which as a history buff I love, and as an educator practically makes me swoon.  It's entertaining and adventurous and fun.  The film does a terrible job at showing off the novel's quirky side, and instead focuses on action scene after action scene, to the detriment of the plot.  Had I not read the book, I wonder if I would have had any idea what was actually going on; it was THAT choppy.  I was *shocked* that SGS was actually listed as a screenplay author, since it was so poorly done!  They must have offered him a TON of money to sell out his material like that.  The film doesn't emphasize what I think is the most interesting part of the alternative-fiction history, and what, I think, holds the entire plot of the novel together - that slavery was, yes, for the plantations, but secretly it was used to feed the vampires in the region, and as such was the political driver behind the civil war, and Lincoln's anti-slavery focus.  This was fascinating to me, and such a clever twist on the entire event, from the declaration of war to why Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation (when the war wasn't really about human rights, and the EP was issued late in the game) when he did, etc.  The cardinal sin, however, what that the film didn't use the original ending.  Good endings are hard to find, and ALVH had a PERFECT ending, excellently done, satisfying, and thought-provoking.  I was so excited to see it play out, after the debacle of the rest of the film; the dialogue between characters set it up, it was all ready to go.... and then it was the lamest, most stereotypical ending EVER that replaced it.  WTH?!  It was an OUTRAGE, just insulting.  This film took an intelligent book and eviscerated it.  The action scenes are fun, and some people in the theater with me who had not read the book thought it was good, but really what it was was a terrible, missed opportunity.  I almost don't know what to recommend here, because if you read the book, you'll be angry at the film.  If you see the film but don't read the book, you may enjoy the action, but be confused and lose out on everything that makes the story wonderful.  So, I guess I would say, read the book, and then watch the film if you want to see the fun action (the final scene on the train is cool, I have to admit), but have NO expectations of being satisfied intellectually while you're watching it.  In fact, maybe you can play a fun party game while you watch - Name The Missing Plot Pieces. 

Rating: 1.5 stars.  A travesty.

Review: Unholy Night, by Seth Grahame-Smith

Seth Grahame-Smith has been making a name for himself for several years now as the author of unconventional reimagined events, from (my favorite) 'Pride and Prejudice and Zombies' to the soon-to-be-released film 'Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter' (also very good, can't wait to see the movie!).  His recent foray into fiction is 'Unholy Night', a revamping of the ancient story of the three wise men.

Because the Christian bible doesn't focus overmuch on who the wise men were, what they thought, or what happened to them, Grahame-Smith is free to imagine a completely new history for the three.  UH is focused on Balthazar, a scoundrel thief and lover, who joins with the other two after a particularly daring prison break wherein he saves the lives of the other two men, Melchior and Gaspar, not out of kindness but because it was the only way for him to escape himself.  They in turn stick with him because they are duty-bound to him until they save his life in return, or pay him back in some other way.  Together, the three of them stumble upon Mary, Joseph, and the baby in the barn while running from the Romans, and the real action of the story takes off from there in a very Indiana Jones-type fashion, following the group through their escape from the Roman army to Egypt.

While the main heroes are interesting on their own, the runaway scene-stealer of this novel, to me, was the disgusting King Herod, whose body is vividly described as it rots away due to the vile lifestyle he has led.  His fury at being foiled time and again by the wily Balthazer, and his increasing desperation to destroy both the thief and the baby, are fascinating, and he spins out of control like an overgrown, petulant child on an over-wound swing.  Also interesting is SGS's portrayal of a young Pontas Pilate, who is secure in his ambition yet stutters at the last moment in his quest for glory. 

The biggest fault with UH is that it starts v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y.  I actually pre-ordered this a month in advance to its April release, started reading within a week of it's arrival on my Nook, and put it back down until about a week ago.  The only reason I picked it back up was because I have loved SGS's other novels, and was going on faith that there would be improvement.  I'm glad I did, because once the action started in earnest it was difficult to put the book down.  I enjoyed experiencing the alternative perspective of Balthazar, and also SGS's creation of the very-real, very human Mary and Joseph.  Their conversations, and the occasional insights into their thoughts on their own predicament, were food for thought and brought the novel, and the ancient story it somewhat follows, into sharper relief.  He is also a master of satisfying endings, and his epilogue in UH is no disappointment.

Overall, Unholy Night was another success by Grahame-Smith.  His ability to breathe life into stories and histories that we all take for granted makes for fascinating reading. 

Rating: 4.5 stars.  An enjoyable, satisfying reimagining that picks up speed with each chapter.

Review: This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike, by Augusten Burroughs

Augusten Burroughs has lived enough life for several people, coming out the other side of child abuse, alcoholism, and the loss of a partner.  He has written several memoirs on these experiences, and in his newest work attempts to take the kowledge he has gained from these events and apply it towards an advisory bent.  This Is How focuses on giving advice on dealing with life's various problems.

Many of the sections of this book are well-written, and include direct references to personal experiences, although without in-depth explanations of the context of those references, which might be confusing to one who hasn't read his other works, or at the very least make the book less engaging.  His discussion on letting go of regret, and of the past, is particularly  plain-spoken and applicable to almost everyone.  It is Burrough's ability to make compelling metaphors, and put complex emotion into simple terms that make this work valuable in these areas.  Rather than creating a cumbersome self-help tome, Burroughs reframes concepts like letting go of the past by discussing the concern that by revisiting the past repeatedly, you are only getting your own distorted point of view; he does this using well-constructed metaphors and life stories that illuminate his ideas.  In these chapters, Burroughs is at his best.

However, in later chapters Burroughs allows his feeling of advisory ability to get away with him, and he writes on topics such as how to discuss terminal illness with a child, and how to deal with the death of a child, and in these areas he is much less skillful.  In fact, I found these sections to be fanciful at best, and completely offensive at worst.  As someone who has had a family child die (my wonderful nephew was killed in an accident five years ago), I found it presumptious of someone who has not had that experience to attempt to give others advice on how to handle it, and his example of a potential conversation with a dying child was utterly ridiculous.  People, if you don't have children, and you don't have a lot of experience with them, please don't tell parents how to talk to them, particularly on these topics.  It makes you sound pompous and foolish.  Truly, these later chapters feel as though Burroughs wasn't satisfied with the length of the book as it stood using his own personal material, and was looking for ways to stretch the book out.  They are far less sincere and personal than the others, and the writing suffers for it.

That aside, about 3/4 of 'How To...' is a decent read, with eloquent and thoughtful material.  We all have regrets, and shyness, and things in the past we'd rather move on from, and at this, Burroughs shines.  I may even go back through these areas and reread them from time to time.  He has taken the concept of living in the now and given it a conversational, bare-bones makeover that is appealing for the casual reader.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars.  A plainspoken, relatable advice book on various topics that would have received 4 or 4.5 stars without the pompous filler material near the end.

Review: Drop Dead Healthy, by AJ Jacobs

Note: I'm baaaa-aaaack!  Sorry about the extended hiatus.  Lesson planning plus grading plus kids plus end of year craziness = no time for fun reading or blogging.  I'm looking forward to adding a lot of content here this summer!  If you have suggestions for material, please leave comments here, and I'll put your ideas on the top of my list!

A couple of years ago, I reviewed AJ Jacobs' previous work, titled The Year of Living Biblically, in which he attempted to follow all of the rules in the Old Testament.  It was quite funny, and I had been looking forward to reading his latest quest into the 'Ultimate Rule Follower' domain, Drop Dead Healthy, for some time.  Having previously enjoyed Jacobs' everyman persuit of perfection, I expected more of the same in his newest volume.

For the most part, Drop Dead Healthy follows the same journalistic patterns as Jacobs' other books; decide upon a goal, read up, talk to experts on both sides of the various aspects of said goal, and follow the decided path ad nauseum, or at least until his wife puts her foot down.  Maybe it's that the formula has gotten a bit stale, or that this topic wasn't quite as funny, but DDH reads much more like an extra-long article than a compilation of humerous exploits.  Actually, this may be the case, since the bible quest required a lot more social discomfort on Jacobs' part, resulting in some pretty funny situations, whereas being more healthy and in-shape actually makes one, if anything, more socially accepted.  Regardless, lack of humor made this work feel like a much longer read, and portions are pretty dry, particularly some interviews with various experts.

This is not to say that DDH isn't entertaining and enlightening, because I did find it interesting, and those who have not done a great deal of reading on the plastic debate, air quality, and the virtues of various diets will probably find it especially so.  For me, the best parts involved Jacobs' interactions with family, friends, and some of the more out-there health nuts he interacted with.  He also spends a decent amount of the book detailing visits with his grandfather and aunt, both of whom die during his writing.  The material including his aunt is more pertinent, as she is a colossal health nut who has informed and emphatic opinions on health matters, while the material with his grandfather is more sentimental and slightly less so, except for that it follows the rule that says that those in contact with family will live longer.  It is obvious that Jacobs has a strong attachment to his grandfather, which is touching to read, however, at the risk of sounding like a complete grinch, I have to say that I feel that he included a bit more of that material than was necessary, probably out of sentimentality due to the circumstances. 

Jacobs gives a very thorough discussion of each side of arguments, such as what the best diet is, or the best exercise plan, including a very funny 'caveman' program in Central Park.  I would have liked to have read more on the actual impact of all the changes on him, personally; Jacobs spends very little time discussing whether these changes are difficult for him, especially the changes in diet.  Including more on personal struggles regarding abstaining from certain foods would humanize the book more, and thus make it more engaging.  While Jacobs mentions that he has stopped eating this and that, he doesn't include anything on whether this is difficult for him, or how he copes with cravings. 

Overall, I would probably read another work by Jacobs.  His style is fairly conversational, and he seems to be a likable person.  Perhaps next time he could return to a more off-beat topic, which would reintroduce the humor back into his work and allow his personality to shine through more.

Rating: 3 stars.  Not as entertaining as previous works, but still a worthwhile read with occasional moments of humor and sentimentality.